Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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