I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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