fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
