Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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