So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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