that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
