i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
