i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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