I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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