This house was built for laser tag.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
