u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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