were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
