you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
