Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just high enough for therapy.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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