shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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