Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
