Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
