You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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