Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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