She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
