im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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