i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
