garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
