Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
