i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
