And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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