On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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