I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
