omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I fill condoms, not promises.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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