I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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