Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
