even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
