Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Where is the hickey?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
