have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
