we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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