just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
