I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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