everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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