as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
