i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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