Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
