Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
