shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
