he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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