is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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