Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
