Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
