Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
