"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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