Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
