You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
