If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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