More tranny stories later!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
operation have a gay friend backfired
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
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